Managing finances is an important part of being a couple, and doing it right can even strengthen your relationship.
Communicate Openly and Often
As money is often a hot button topic for any couple, it’s best to communicate openly right off the bat. Let each other know about lingering debts and loans, divulge credit history, and even talk about financial goals. Be honest about your expectations, so that everything is on the table. That way, there are no surprises to fight about later on.One way to communicate is to talk openly about the needs of you and your partner, and your household. Compare that to your wants, and see where you can compromise. This is especially important when you and your partner have different incomes, and will be a factor in the following steps.
Make a Budget and Change It (When Needed)
Once you and your partner are comfortable conversing about money, set a budget for shared responsibility bills and purchases. Don’t only set the budget, but consistently check in on it. Make a practice of setting aside time each week to look through your joint budget, and once you’ve both got the hang of it, cut it down to once every two weeks or month, so that it’s not the focus of your spare time.As opposed to individual budgets, which should stay consistent for smart budgeting and saving, a couple’s budget may change based on fluctuating income and questions of responsibility. Remember, it’s very important to keep that open line of communication going, so if your budget has to be changed, it’s a collaborative and friendly effort, rather than a fight.
Divide Responsibility (and Accounts)
In most cases, you and your partner will not be in the same income bracket. This generally means that you won’t be able to realistically split the budget halfway down the middle. With clear communication, you will be able to organize the budget into who pays for what, as opposed to making one cash reserve. You have the option of dividing expenses up. This is a great practice, as it also counters late payments and becoming individually overwhelmed with the bills of an entire household.Another division to make is between bank accounts. If you are longtime married partners, you can likely handle a completely joint bank account, though this is not the wisest move for everyone. Try dividing your bank accounts into a joint account for household expenses, and fun you want to have together. Keep a personal bank account with an amount you are open about, so that if you want to purchase several fancy lattes or a second iPad, it’s not coming out of money you’ve worked to use together. This is also a great way to retain financial agency, while feeling happy about shared financial responsibility as opposed to getting into a conversation of which cash is yours or theirs.
Set Goals Together
To make this process enjoyable, make sure to set financial goals for the two of you to achieve. For couples just moving in together, goals can be as simple as making rent payments on time, or successfully purchasing a property later on down the line. Buying a car is definitely a milestone, as is paying tuition for your kids (if you become parents). Even setting up a robust retirement account together, and consistently growing it, can feel like a milestone. What’s great about setting goals and milestones is that every achievement is one you make together.Be Team Players
Most importantly, know that as a couple, you are a team. Money can be extremely stressful, especially when you’re supporting each others’ ventures and livelihoods. It can also bring you closer together, and give you that warm feeling of joint success.Communicate as honestly and as often as possible, and try not to let the money conversation turn into a fight. Shared finances don't have to get in the way of shared happiness.
